Friday, July 17, 2009

My Story (Chapter Two)

I walked into the Grayish White Doors of The Columbia Presbyterian Clinic (60th and Madison) on a Wednesday morning in August... My eyes gazing @ everything in sight. My head full of questions ready to over flow out my mouth. I hopped in the elevator, to level 4, I go. I entered into the chambers of "The Baby Booming World". Everywhere I turned, swollen belly's were staring back @ me. All I could think of was: "I wonder if the persons here think I'm a silly young girl, that got knocked up"? Everyone here was coupled up and silly me, alone; alone; alone;. I mean, I didn't look pregnant but, I did look like a sickly little girl.

I approached the desk, half smiley-face and said: Good Morning, "I'm here for an appointment with Dr. Polan". A cute Blonde-Haired Gay Guy smiled back @ me and said, "just fill out these papers and have a seat". I thought to myself: "Why couldn't the doctor world communicate with one another"? When you set up an appointment your chart should automatically be fedex'd to the next doctor on your case (what a great idea Brain *wink*). I mean, can the Blonde Gay receptionist not see how sickly I am? I filled, signed, handed back and had a seat. My ♥ began to pump faster from nervousness and anticipation of putting this all behind me. Was I just imagining the pain? Did I make myself think there was pain? Am I truly a Hypochondriac? Will they find anything? Is this a waste of my time? Will my job fire me? Question bubbles filled my head until my inner voice screamed out @ me and said, "CALM THE EFF DOWN". I took deep breaths and I managed to clear my head by focusing my eyes on a man rubbing his wife's belly (what and amazing site).

Finally, my name was called. "Nia Crooks", "Nia Crooks" I could hear the nurse reciting (but all I could make out was: "Cyst chick come here", "You..., with the Cyst, right this way"). I was greeted by a short nurse with the most innocent smile I've ever seen. I could feel her magnetic energy seeping through her cartoon-character designed scrubs as she escorted me to the examination room. She opened the door of room 6 (I think) and said, "Ms. Crooks, I'm gonna need to draw some blood and I'm gonna need a urine sample". I lightly screamed, "Omg...! Again with the blood? Girlie... I don't have much left to give". She giggled and said, "what would make you think that"? I said, "I've been bleeding since January and it just won't stop. They gave me pills to stop the flow but that only lasted a week. The blood is back @ work, flowing again". She said, "geez... you are the 1st female I've ever heard that's been bleeding that long. Your body must be worn out and the lining of your uterus must be as thin as ever". I nodded my head vertically and said, "I guess (of course I was confused)". I then asked her, "Do you mind if I lay while you draw my blood (as a child, my veins tend to collapse, I'd over-heat and pass out B-/)"? She said, "I promise to be gentle and use a smaller needle". I smiled back @ her (*_*) and said, "I'll take your word Maam". After that little spat was over, I awaited Dr. Polan to enter the cold examination room.

A short white pleasant looking lady entered the room. She had a soft voice, nice glasses, a sharp white Doc jacket, white hospital pants, those cellulite reducing monster shoes and a stunning insect sized rock on her left finger (I know I observe the weirdest things but I need to know if someone understands quality over quantity). She introduced herself as Mary. How cute..., I thought to self: "A doctor of these credentials only giving her 1st name? No title; No last name; No nothing (thanks Chel, I found a good one)"? She then began with the questions: "What brings you here today Nia (of course I started from the beginning blaa, blaa, blaa,blaa, blaa... tired of telling this story, fix me full already)"? She then asked, "well Ms. Nia, how did you find me"? I said, "my best friend Michele told me to find a doctor affiliated with Columbia Pres or Cornell so I researched my symptoms via the Internet and wanted to find a specialist, so who better than a doctor named Mary". I continued..., "this may sound weird to you but, I'm sure you know the mother of Jesus Christ name was Mary so that stuck out. You're a Endocrinologist and I needed the best for what I'm going through". She replied, "I'm highly impressed with the way you feel about your body and I'm willing to help you get the answers and treatment you need as well as deserve". (*_*) She started her examination taking just about every test possible. She said, "I won't have any solid answers for you until we get your blood work back. But for now, I will write you another prescription for Provera to stop the bleeding and give you tylenol 3 for pain". She then asked, "have you ever heard of a condition called Endometriosis"? I said no, "doesn't sound familiar". She spoke a little about it but told me she wanted me to research it and schedule an appointment for next week. My brain began to fart the word "Endometriosis"? "Endometriosis"?"Edomertri-what"?. Of course I held myself together in there but I fell apart as soon as I saw the exit sign when I got off the elevator. I immediately called my Mom and starting balling crying. Mom do I have a disease? What is this illness? Did you know about this? Was this kept from me all these years? What is going on with me? Am I dying? The questions kept spilling out so fast she couldn't even get a word in. She tried calming me down and I hung up on her and got on google from my berry. I came across this passage on Endometriosis:

Endometriosis is a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus (the endometrial stroma and glands, which should only be located inside the uterus) is found elsewhere in the body.

Endometriosis lesions can be found anywhere in the pelvic cavity: on the ovaries, the fallopian tubes, and on the pelvic sidewall. Other common sites include the uterosacral ligaments, the cul-de-sac, the Pouch of Douglas, and in the rectal-vaginal septum.

In addition, it can be found in caecarian-section scars, laparoscopy or laparotomy scars, and on the bladder, bowel, intestines, colon, appendix, and rectum. But these locations are not so common.

In even more rare cases, endometriosis has been found inside the vagina, inside the bladder, on the skin, even in the lung, spine, and brain.

The most common symptom of endometriosis is pelvic pain. The pain often correlates to the menstrual cycle, but a woman with endometriosis may also experience pain that doesn’t correlate to her cycle. For many women, the pain ofendometriosis is so severe and debilitating that it impacts their lives in significant ways.

Endometriosis can also cause scar tissue and adhesions to develop that can distort a woman’s internal anatomy. In advanced stages, internal organs may fuse together, causing a condition known as a "frozen pelvis."

It is estimated that 30-40% of women with endometriosis may not be able to have children (if you suspect you suffer from infertility, please see our section on endometriosis and infertility)

If you or someone you care about has endometriosis, it is important to research the disease as much as possible. Many myths and misconceptions about endometriosis still persist, even in medical literature. For many women, management of this disease may be a long-term process. Therefore, it is important to educate yourself, take the time to find a good doctor, and consider joining a local support group.

The 1st thorn that stuck out @ me was the very slim chance that I could give birth. Slim chance? I'm a baby making machine I thought to self. That runs in my family. Now I have to pray and hope that I get knocked up one day? I hoped in a cab, red-faced with swollen-eyes and headed home. When I entered my apartment the 1st thing I did was drop to my knees. I cried out to my Lord. I asked him, "God, by me saying I don't want children, did you take it away from me permanently"? I then called Putt, she calmed me down and told me to call my Mom (she was freaking out). I told her to call for me I'm home and fine but words cant leave my tongue right now to anyone else. I just needed to lay down with my thoughts. Putt said, "there was no time to lose it now, I needed to wait and see what the full results stated".

Next week couldn't have arrived any slower (*sigh*). I entered into the Baby booming chambers once again and awaitied for my name to be called. This time, I was taken into her office 1st and accompanied by Jazzy B. She set us down and said, "I looked @ your blood work, you are fine as far as sexually transmitted dieases or anything life threatening". Then she said, "what I want you to do next is take this chart and time your ovulation" (I was completely confused). Isn't this what you give to crazy ("I wanna be a Mom so darn bad") women or the,  planned out life married ("its time for a kid") couples to use so when a woman's body heats up Daddy can put his cake in her oven? I'm not trying to have a baby today, tomorrow, this month, this year anytime soon Maam. She said, "I just want to see if you're ovulating. When you have Endometeroisis your body tends to not ovulate". I replied, "so I do have this illness, this disease"? I started to tear up... Jazzy B. began to rub my back as I fought with self to hold it togther. I said, "Dr. Polan I thought this was speculation? I'm gonna need my parents here with me next time because this is a lot for a bleeding girl". I asked her to hold off on this conversation for a while and I'll do the chart. She said, "the reason you've been bleeding is because the lining of your uterus wall has been thinned out completely". Then she asked, "did the pills stop the blood flow"? I said, "yes! But I refuse to go through the rest of my life taking medicaton". I then asked her, "was the continuous bleeding the reason for my pain on the right side of my abdonminal area"? She said, "it could be the bleeding, it could be Endometriosis, it could be other things. I will not give you the answer to that yet until we do further test. However, I will tell you this, in order to rebuild your uterus wall, we need to pump hormones into your body so I want to give you another birth control". I quickly declined and asked her, "why can't my body just reset itself? I don't understand why birth control is always the 1st choice by Gyenocologist. If birth control isn't needed for every female on earth, why must we use them to regulate unbalanced bodies? I understand I do have a hormonal inbalance but I don't want to take something orally to balance it". I went on to say, "before I ever touched a birth control pill, my body was in great balance to my knowledge. I wasn't visiting Gyn offices like the Local Bar. I blame the birth control for what i'm going through now. I want my body back to normal and I refuse to believe a controceptive taking orally daily will help to get it there". I then asked, "what are my other options because, after I take the last of these Provera pills I will not take another hormonal pill". 

Dr. Polan's 2nd option was for me to seek a 2nd opinion with her colleague Dr. Eileen Demarco. She said, "because of the ruptured cyst, abnormal bleeding and the constant abdonminal pain maybe she would have better answers for you in getting to the bottom of this". She called her assistant and had her schedule me an emergency appointment for Dr. Demarco two days from Wednesday and she'd see me back in her office as a follow up (after I'd been examined as well as set down and talked with her colleague).


  1. I thought I told you about endometriosis... My wife has it. I hope you feel better and soon and I'll definitely pray for you.

  2. First let me begin by saying that I read both chapter of this very well versed, enlightening tale.

    It kept my attention and you wrote it beautifully. I am so sorry that you have had to deal with all that pain and not know what was going with your body for so long.

    I wish you the absolute best with everything and I am so happy that I can share in your talent and come back and read more and more.

  3. Your story is truly captivating. I hope and pray that your second opinion offers up more concrete results. Stay strong, optimistic and keep believing in Him...the Lord will work it all out. xoxo

  4. This is quite the monologue! While I've been around from start til now, I wasn't fully aware of such details of the experience... Looking forward to the good that comes out of this and all the health complications being behind you.

    In the same breath - Thank You GOD for another day of life!


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